Monday, May 21, 2012

Memories from the past making worries for the future

Heidi and I have each mentioned how our brother has stolen from us.  Having it happen time and time again makes us worry whenever he comes around.  2 years ago today, I graduated from college.  I was the first person in my family to accomplish this, so we threw a huge party and invited a lot of people (I think my wedding invite list might be smaller, and it's still huge).  In planning, mom, Heidi, and I sat down to figure out something that no one should ever have to worry about: what are we going to do about the box for the cards.  We knew a lot of people were putting cash or checks in the cards for me and we made a card box for them.  We were trying to figure out how to go about placing security around the box without letting anyone know we were doing it.  At this point, we hid my brother's problem.  Actually, until last week we hid my brother's problem.  People knew my brother was up to no good, but didn't know what he did or to what extent his problem was and we were too ashamed and embarrassed to talk about it.  He ended up not showing to my party, which was a relief, but it still caused worry.  This party was only about 10 months after he stole all of the money Heidi had saved for groceries, to pay the electrician, and buy things to put up her pool.

He hasn't quit stealing (except during the 6 months or so he was locked up), and I have another problem.  I'm getting married May 4, 2013.  This is normally a happy thing for most people (and don't get me wrong, I'm very happy with my future husband), but in the back of my mind, I'm terrified.  Do I invite my brother?  Do I have to figure out security for my wedding gifts?  Would it just be easier to elope so I don't have to worry about him?  He goes to court in a couple of weeks.  Will he be in jail on my wedding day?  Would it be easier if he was in jail?  When Heidi got married, it was before things got really bad.  We didn't have to worry about whether or not he was going to steal.  I had almost completely stopped talking to him prior to the intervention because I didn't want to lose anything else.  My fiance and I are trying to start our lives together.  We both have car payments, I have student loans, I can't afford to replace anything if it gets stolen.

I don't know what to do or what to think.


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