Sunday, May 20, 2012

Facebook Sucks

Good Evening well morning I guess its midnight its Heidi again.... As you have read our family has taken a stance against my brothers crack addiction.  Well he doesn't like the fact we all told him to get his life straight then we would welcome him back with open arms.  I saw on facebook today that he is telling everyone how we cut him off and boohoooo we don't want to talk to him and how messed up it is that we have been going to Nar-anon meetings.  Damn right we don't want to talk to him.  He is a "junkie" those are his own words not mine.  So of course I reply to his message and say "um stop telling lies to all your so called friends we did not cut you off we told you until you get your stuff well I didn't say stuff together we don't want to see you and as far as us going to meetings yes we are so we can learn how to help you and we will never stop loving you we just stopped enabling you"  Well he didn't like that at all and I am sure used it as an excuse to go get high. 

My mother had the pleasure of seeing him today while taking her friends daughter to meet him to get stolen jewelry back.  I am sure that was the highlight of her day. She asked him to please turn himself in and he basically said "f" you.  She said he looks like death and I am not surprised. 

So Facebook is my friend and my enemy..... its a love hate relationship.  I dread looking at his page but I can't help it I feel like I have too just to make sure he is alive.  I have hid his status updates from my timeline so I can chose the times I look at them.  Its just so hard to be blamed for his issues and be made to look like we are awful human beings and a bad family.  I feel like I have to defend us on the other hand I walk on eggshells worried if what I say will be the one thing that makes him take those pills or smoke that pipe for the last time and we will get that phone call.  I don't want to delete him totally because I am afraid it is the only way I will be able to tell my mom he is still alive he is on FB. 

Ugh Facebook sucks....

Lots of Love and Healing,


1 comment:

  1. Your doing OK. Ur heart is in the right place. Maybe u should try n reconnect with him a bit tho. Go out somewhere. Just hang out for a bit. Try not to grill him about his dug use. He probably knows he has a problem n there won't be a lot u can say to make him change. Just try n make sure he knows how loved and special he is. Try n give him something to do that's still enjoyable without getting high. It will be hard for him to bother to change if he's feeling disconnected. Try not to focus on solving the problem when your with him. Just try n rebuild your relationship. It might give him some proof that getting high isn't all there is. That he has a sister that loves him. I hope this helps a bit.
    This is similar advice that I'm following myself with my little brother who's starting to get into drugs n is suicidal. I'm just trying to not hastle him, he gets that enough from everyone else. I think the best thing I can do is keep trying to engage him n get him to open up n not judge him. And to make him happy by hanging out. To remind him how very important he is. Hopefully if I'm an active part of his life he will remember that n think twice b4 doing anything rash. Maybe I'm doing everything wrong. But I have to hope its helping. N I hope what I've said will help u in some way. Good luck. Hang in there. I know how scary it is.